Soaking up this phase of life called: Motherhood

I’m in this phase of life called, I’m just enjoying my kids and being a mom.

I’m not trying to hustle.

I’m not trying to climb the corporate ladder.

I’m not trying to start another business.

And by all means, if you are doing these things, you keep doing YOU! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and in fact, I did that! Right now, I have the ability so I’m just trying to enjoy the time with my kids, take care of myself and heal and enjoy not actually “going to a job” for the first time in 20 years. While today that seems good to me and I just enjoy the daily moments with my kids coloring, going for walks, reading stories, doing dance parties, that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the allure of “going to a job”.

For most of my life, I loved my different jobs. I was a go-getter from the start and always did well for myself and relied on no one. I took pride in that. My 20’s was super exciting with starting a business and my 30’s were exciting climbing the corporate ladder, and starting another business, which I very much enjoyed! I loved my colleagues, I loved my job, I loved the travel, I loved the excitement, the stress, the nerves. All of it!

Having my daughter a bit later, at 37 I started to re-evaluate my career and what I really wanted out of life and it was clear to me that my career was no longer it. So we moved out of the city and I took a step back to get a few certifications and started doing some side jobs teaching fitness and health coaching. I also thoroughly enjoyed that!

However, I was spending most days away from my daughter and found myself teaching 12-18 classes a week and coaching in between. Yet, when my husband asked me if I was happy doing what I was doing I couldn’t give him a full on YES. It was, “I love teaching and coaching, BUT”…..the big BUT!

I didn’t know then what I realize now, but I can say after COVID shut down the world in March of 2020 and I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with my son and had to stay home full time with my daughter because daycare was shut down, I really just enjoyed my time with her. I had the most fun in those 6 weeks than I’d had in a very long time. My life felt full and meaningful, and I had ZERO mom guilt.

Fast forward to the summer of 2020 after the birth of my son in late April and again, I felt more and more fulfilled being with my kids. Not to say it wasn’t hard, because, damn was it hard, it still is hard! BUT, I feel that this is my current purpose in life. To just be still, to not try to climb ladders, to not try to sell services, to not try to fill a demand. Its to be here, with my kids. This is my phase, and I really do love it.

I won’t say there aren’t times when I don’t feel fulfilled and feel the need to “do more”, however, I have zero time! But I find that when I compare myself to someone else’ journey then I start looking at mine and NOT being fulfilled. I somehow see a flaw in what I’m doing. I somehow see that I’m not doing “enough”.

But when I don’t compare and I just see it for what it is, that’s when I’m the most happy. Just being here, with these kids, enjoying this phase of my life.

I also find it very important that I’m taking this time to just BE. To look inward and what I really want to do with my life when the kids are full time in school. I can also take this time to heal my body and mind, and make sure I’m working on my marriage to be the best partner I can be.

While the world may seem like if you’re not hustling, you’re behind, and I feel that way sometimes! By no means does that mean its a standard for everyone. I love my life. I love that I’m ABLE to be home with them full time. I love that I can take time for me. I love that I can take time to expand my social network with friends and family - which I felt I neglected before.

My point here is, whatever phase you are in, look at it for what it is for YOU and only YOU. What is going on with the rest of the world, or in the magical land of social media doesn’t matter because that isn’t you. That isn’t what defines you. At the end of the day, what will you remember most in your life? IF that is your career, then by all means, dive in! But if that’s spending time with your kids and you have the ability to do so, then DIVE IN and don’t look back.

Looking back only gives us another perspective that we see through a tainted lens. Tainted and tarnished with what we think we “should do”, or what we think we “are expected to do”.

Forget all that garbage and focus on what makes YOU happy day in and day out. Do that more!

That being said, I will always write and create recipes, because that is what I love and will do for my therapy forever! So if that’s what you want to hear about, then stay tuned!

Thank you for reading and I appreciate you!

XX

Angie